My partner doesn't feel loved. What should I do?

Everyone expresses love differently.

By identifying your partner's love language, you can make them feel desired. Furthermore, you will understand more about yourself, which benefits your relationship.

Here are some tips for each love languages;

1) Words of Affirmation

2) Gifts Giving

3) Acts of Service

4) Quality Time

5) Physical Affection

1) Words of Affirmation

Have you chanced upon times when simple praises and words of affirmation such as "I love you" and "Thank you" make your partner's day? If yes, this may be their love language.

By knowing this, you should;

- Speak or craft texts to show how much they mean to you on a regular basis. Always motivate them with phrases they like to hear and assure them when things are uncertain.

- Be mindful of your language during an argument as they are very sensitive to harsh words.

Since its one of their love language, the lack of affirmation or accidental wrong choices of words (e.g. insults) may hurt your partner

If this is the correct love language, you should see your relationship improving.

2) Gifts Giving

Your partner likes receiving gifts as much as giving them and is seen from their reactions. When your partner receives your gift, they feel noticed. If your gift was something well-thought-out, it makes them feel understood.

If this seems familiar, this may be their love language, and you may;

- Be more proactive in getting gifts for your loved one in the form of small surprises. Gift things that you know your partner will like, and it could be as simple as buying a tub of ice cream to show you care. If you have the time, you can even handmade your gifts (e.g. cards).

- Never forget to gift on special occasions as your partner may put a lot of emphasis on these dates. Instead, set a reminder so that you can prepare in advance and surprise your loved one on that day.

If this is the correct love language, you should see your relationship improving.

3) Acts of Service

Your partner feels loved most when you help them with their day to day tasks. The action of you tolerating the "extra work" and compromising makes them feel important. Reactions that shows appreciation reflects they felt loved.

If this is one of their love languages, you should;

- Take the initiative to carry out tasks to make your partner feel they are taken care of. You may do things that you know they need help in; such as cooking meals, collecting parcels, and/or packing bags to ease the burden off their chest.

- Never do it out of obligation and miss out on tasks you promised you would do. This will disappoint your partner.

- Avoid becoming their "servant" since your partner may unknowingly treat your service as mandatory. This means, instead of feeling appreciated, they felt necessary.

If this is the correct love language, you should see your relationship improving.

4) Quality Time

Your partner strongly values meaningful interactions. They feel most important when you are paying your fullest attention and listening when they speak. One-on-one time is very special to them.

If you observe your partner enjoys this interaction, this may be one of their love languages, and you should;

- Plan more memorable dates; it could be as simple as preparing a meal together. Give your partner your undivided attention by putting away distractions and being fully present and engaged.

- Try not to cancel dates frequently if possible, as it may make your partner feel unwanted. Spend your free time with your partner whenever you can.

If this is the correct love language, you should see your relationship improving.

5) Physical Affection

Your partner feels a sense of connection whenever you show physical affection, such as kisses, hugs, and intimacies. They feel desired, warmth and also safe in this physical relationship.

If this is one of their love languages, you should;

- Initiate physical affection more often to let your partner feel loved (e.g. hand-holding, hugging, kissing). When your partner exhibits these affections, reciprocate whenever you are comfortable in an atmosphere where it is not oppressive.

- Keep in mind what kind of physical affection your partner likes instead of what you like

- Never neglect your partner physically. Your partner needs to feel treasured for the bond between both of you. When you do not initiate nor reciprocate physical affection, this may leave your partner feeling unwanted and rejected. This can even take a toll on their self-esteem.

If this is the correct love language, you should see your relationship improving.

Additional Tips

- You and your partner may speak different love languages. Hence, you should express love in the way they wish to receive it, not how you wish to receive it.

- Even if you speak the same love languages, it is still important to communicate and observe what your partner like and dislike as you two may feel things differently (E.g. Under the love language of "Words of Affirmation": one prefers shorts praises, the other only starts feeling satisfied after a long compliment).

- Your partner may have more than one love language, and this may apply to you too. Be open and communicate actively as your partner deserves to know. You cannot expect them to understand you without proper communication.

- Your partner's love language may even change over time. Notice how your partner is expressing their love language towards you. Appreciate their actions and meaning. Gradually, you will be able to accept and give back that type of love.

- Love is a commitment from both ends; time and effort are required to understand and consistently maintain a good relationship with your partner.